My own history

Once upon a time more than 60 years ago, there was a young girl who had "got into troubles" as the expression was in those days about young girls who became pregnant without being married.

When this happened yet another time, the "troubles" were of course doubled. The older women around her intervened, even though the young couple who were going to be parents for the second time did not want anything else than to get married and have a family. Life could be that cruel in the mid-40s in Sweden.

Out in Europe, a war was going on, at home nearly all the men were called up for military service and the prospects of being permanently employed somewhere after the military service were dismal. Furthermore, an illegitimate kid was still "a shame"! Anna, the young girl, was working as a housemaid for an unmarried, well-to-do lady, Lisa, in a fashionable suburb outside Stockholm.

Already in 1942, she had "got into troubles" with the driver Åke. Both were young, Anna was not even of age, and marriage was out of the question. Lisa, who was very fond of Anna, let her have the child and took care of them both with a great deal of consideration. Lisa looked after the small Lasse as if he were her own child. Everything looked bright and Anna was probably well off compared to many others in the same situation.

As told before, Åke was doing military service during this time. However, when he was on leave, the two young ones met again and their love blossomed out yet another time. Soon, Anna and Åke were once again about to be parents.

Åke wanted nothing else than to marry Anna and have a family. However, two strong women now entered and made their decisions over the heads of the couple. Sent off to the porch of the nice house the couple had to put up with Lisa, Anna’s employer, and Signe, Åke’s very resolute mother, together deciding that the expected child would have to be adopted. They simply judged that Anna and Åke would not manage the parenthood. A very unfair and unfounded judgement, but in their situation they did not dare to do anything else than yield.

It is not difficult to understand that this must have been extremely humiliating. However, it is harder for us today to understand that the couple had to yield to this decision, but Anna must have felt she was under an obligation to Lisa.
Since getting to know my brother Lasse and his family, I have understood that Anna was wondering a great deal about what happened with me.

Anna was sent away, to conceal to the now three-year-old son and other people around them how things were. I was later born at the General Maternity Hospital in Stockholm. I do not know how Åke disappeared and I will most likely never get to know that either.

Longing for a child

Parallel with this young couple, there was another couple, of a completely different social class, who had just lost the child they had longed for so much. These two were the ones who later became my parents.
With the help of lawyer friends, an adoption was attended to. Through contacts that are still quite dim, I ended up with them when I was not more than one month old. Naturally, I started as a foster child, with a child welfare officer and a great deal of control from public authorities. It is also indicated in documents left that the two strong women most certainly had a hand in it. Afterwards, I have understood that someone, probably a nurse who was a friend of Lisa’s, at a distance followed my growth, at least in the beginning.

As an only child, I was presumably quite spoiled, without becoming a pest because of that. But I had very affectionate parents who made sure I was very well off in all ways. I was placed in fine, and good, private schools and grew up in the "nice" and quite upper-class area of Östermalm in Stockholm.

Spent my spare time at the type of leisure pursuits that girls of that class did, e.g. piano classes and horse-riding.
Later on, I did a kind of revolt against all this, but it had more to do with political awareness than discontent with my childhood.

During my childhood I knew I was adopted, a knowledge which cut both ways. Surely, my mother suffered when she often had to hear "Isn’t it funny that Eva doesn’t look alike Karin at all…" and similar comments.
On top on that, I was, as many other only children, continually asking for sisters or brothers. I did not know that my mother was destroyed when she had her stillborn daughter and could not have any more children.
I was not suffering at all, probably because I did not know better. I remember how, after I had announced "I am an adopted child, you know" in the quite comical way of children trying to make themselves special, my best friend came the next morning and announced proudly that "she was indeed adopted as well"!
We did not understand better than that!

All graphic: © Eva-Kajsa 1999-2011
Uppdaterad/Updated:: 2011-01-09
Translated by:Eva Sahlström